She is in my trunk
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Even my vagina gasped.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
