How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
