Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
