Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
