I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
