god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
