Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
