Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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