I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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