I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
