wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I fill condoms, not promises.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
