Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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