Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
