I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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