i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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