wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
