hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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