it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
