so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
