Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
