it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
