this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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