i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
