I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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