I think i peed on brittanys purse
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
