The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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