Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
