you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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