She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
