i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
