please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize