The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
