that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize