I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
