so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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