Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
