Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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