Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
