i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
