the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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