By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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