the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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