Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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