we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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