Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
