So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
