Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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