Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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