ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
