I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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