I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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