This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
