Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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