But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
