Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
