my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
