just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Found the puke drawer
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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