I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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