I'm really into asian looking animals
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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