Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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