Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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