you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
