i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
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I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
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My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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