your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
