Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
