I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
