we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
