Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
