just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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