we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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