I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize