I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
