Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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