Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
