Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
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I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
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They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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