I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Bring me that man meat
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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