I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.