He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.