when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst