I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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