I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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