I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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